September 1st was Dan's birthday so we flew off to Las Vegas for a couple of days to celebrate.
As anyone knows who has been to Vegas, you are very very excited to get there and, after a day or two, can't wait to get home. I drove to Vegas once from Los Angeles and sang and was very excited for the first hour of the drive but that excitement wore off and I got tired and cranky for the remaining 3 hours of the drive. On the bright side, once you arrive, you do get a big hit of adrenaline when you hear the slot machines and see all the lights, etc. of Vegas. So, when you get to Vegas you are excited again....for a while. Going home is an entirely new deal though. The remember that the almost 4 hour drive home to Los Angeles was hell and it seemed like 8 hours (or definitely 5 hours). All I remember is that I couldn't wait to get home and it took forever! Even flying home is too long. (Where is the teleportation that we were promised when they showed us "the future" in elementary school?)
Once you decide its time to go home from Vegas, you want to be home immediately.
Anyway, we got to Vegas around midnight and I was pretty tired but I rallied and we set out for the casino floor. Of course, we had to play Wheel of Fortune on the slot machine (the only game I can tolerate on a slot machine largely because the machine yells "Wheel of Fortune" when you hit "spin" on any of the wheels and a big wheel on top spins for credits....this doesn't sound that great but, believe me, its much better in person).
After playing that (and winning a little bit...heh heh), we went out to find very long daiquiri drinks that we could conspicuously carry and sip while walking down the Vegas strip. Let me tell you, these are not hard to find at all. They are sold all over the place. We each got 64 ounce (i.e., really big) drinks. I got a strawberry daiquiri and Dan got a pina colada (with extra shots). I think these things already have 6 shots in them so Dan's drink was basically petrol with coconut milk. Dan asked for two straws and then he told the fellow behind him that all real Vegas "players" ask for two straws. Of course, the idiot behind Dan asked for two straws....which Dan got a big kick out of. Also, Dan wore his "vacation hat" pretty much the entire trip. Its a tan australian-looking hat which he bought at the Fairfax Farmer's Market in Los Angeles. I like the hat because I can identify him in a crowd. We walked down the strip with our humongous drinks.
Now, I'm a complete chicken when it comes to gambling and gave myself a $200 limit for the entire trip. I hadn't yet taken out the $200 but had a couple of $20 bills in my wallet and I was already "up" because I put in $20 and won $65 on Wheel of Fortune. I was feeling flush. Because I was up, I ended up watching Dan play and didn't play any more that night. That's where the trouble began. Dan found a single-deck black jack game in Harrah's (yes...they DO exist) and was playing and I was watching and joking along with the table and steadily sipping my daiquiri......I was so steadily sipping my daiquiri that I drank the whole thing before Dan even finished half of his. As we were back on the Strip walking, I started to feel sort of bad. My stomach actually felt cold on the outside! I was feeling worse and worse. We started heading back to our hotel room because I wasn't getting any better. As we approached the hotel, about a block away from the entrance, my stomach couldn't hold it anymore and I threw up on the Vegas Strip. It was pretty much pure strawberry daiquiri coming back up. I'm surprised there wasn't "slushy" in it. This was all in the close proximity of several Vegas police officers who (fortunately) were busy arresting a black man and questioning his buddy. Phew (although I'm sure they would have just ignored me anyway). To Dan's credit and although he found it quite amusing, he didn't take any pictures.
He helped me back to the hotel room and tucked me in and he went back down to the casino to gamble. The next morning he sent me a text saying that he was still in the casino. I texted back but got no response so I got dressed and went out to find him. I was standing on the 26th floor hotel elevator lobby looking out the window at the pool and the "grounds" of the hotel below when I heard my name being called down the corridor. Dan came ambling up in his hat and said "I thought that looked like you." Apparently he'd been wandering around the multiple towers of the hotel for 20 minutes or so looking for our hotel room. Nice (although we definitely make quite the pair).
We decided to go back to the room and put on our swimsuits and go to the hotel pool. The pool was officially called the "Go Pool" which was weird. We had a heck of a time finding open lounge chairs (at 8:45 in the morning) but we finally found two in a decent area. A lot of people claim chairs by throwing beach towels on them and then never show up. There was this hotel lady who came by and would throw people's stuff into plastic bags in order to free up chairs that were sitting unclaimed for long periods of time. I had no idea what the "time limits" were so I was a little concerned that we'd come back to our chairs and find all our stuff gone.... From our chairs we could see a large fake rock formation on one side of the pool with a water fall that fell into the pool (and a grotto underneath). This was just begging for a challenge. Dan started challenging everyone he met to climb up there and jump off the rock formation. Of course, the water was only about 3-4 feet deep at that end but that didn't stop Dan. No...not at all.
Dan and I definitely didn't fit in with this pool crowd either. That's because we didn't look like were trying to audition to be cast in Jersey Shore. I felt old and stuffy but I'm ok with that (its better than being associated with that show). This might have been fun when I was in say.....high school.....but I probably still would have felt pretty gross afterwards.
We showered and went back to the casino and Dan introduced me to a poker-like game where I put in $100 and won $250 each on two different hands. Pretty awesome! I walked away (thank you Kenny Rogers).
I don't remember what else we played but we wandered around the casino and neighboring casinos and played at Ceasar's Palace a little. The lack of sleep finally hit Dan and we went up to sleep relatively early (for Vegas).
The next morning we checked out and stored our bags and went over to Ceasar's palace to place Dan's annual bet on the Rams to win the superbowl. That was actually the initial justification for the trip (besides the birthday thing). The odds weren't as outlandish as they were last year (75 to 1) but they were still significant (25 to 1, I think). I'm sure Dan will correct my post to put in the correct odds.
Dan got another big pina colada and we walked through the Ceasar's Palace forum shops and came across a memorabilia store with a Dick Butkus autograph signing session. He was there and Dan bought an 8x10 glossy which he autographed "with friendship, Dick Butkus"....Dan likes to say that they're personal friends now.
Dan had me hold his big drink because he was worried that Dick Butkus would punch him in the face for drinking a "girlie" drink like that. Mr. Butkus also complimented Dan on his hat. He also noticed Dan's Rams watch which he commented on and asked Dan where he was from. Dan told him that he was from New York and Dick said "You're from New York and you're a Rams fan...that makes sense." EXACTLY! It doesn't make sense at all. I actually got a picture of Dick Butkus shaking his head in dismay at Dan's Rams watch.
The last time we were in Vegas we got this coupon book that we could present at Ceasar's Palace and get cheesy medallions with Ceasar's face on them. WE LOVE THOSE MEDALLIONS. Dan has worn that medallion to several events (including a wine tasting where he told these 80 year old ladies that he was an olympic gold medalist). We didn't have the coupons this time but thought we'd take a chance and ask for more medallions. The lady behind the counter was skeptical but Dan batted his baby blues and told her it was his birthday recently and she gave them to us! We wore them until we had to check our bags because we weren't sure how they would fare in the TSA line.....being so flashy and all.
After a 25 hour flight (I exaggerate) we finally arrived home. Thank God.
Comments