Some of you may know this but I have a little acting experience from my time in Los Angeles. I'm even a member of the Screen Actors Guild. Crazy. Well, I'm sure you guessed that "acting" gave me license to do all sorts of stunts in LA. My first apartment was one block from a Blockbuster video and I'd often wear this long blonde wig to pick out a movie. I don't know why, it just made me happy. I also had (and still have) an awesome afro wig which I pull out for any reason....ANY reason. The Post Office issued new stamps...I pull out the wig and wear it.
One time I was in a play and they gave me a body pillow to use because my character was pregnant. This character was awesome because she was totally white trash and she was selling her kid and basically trying to get the best deal possible for the kid. Classy. It was set in the summer time and the big scene involved a hot room with only a fan for ventilation. So, I wore shorts and a sleeveless maternity top that I bought at Ross Dress For Less and flip flops. After rehearsal one night I wore the body pillow home and learned how hard it is to drive with that big thing in front. It was actually hard to get into my car seat with that pillow (I was pretty far along you see). I decided to stop at a grocery store and, for fun, bought a six pack of beer and some cigarettes. Cigarettes are kept behind the counter so you have to ask the cashier for the cigarettes. I said Marlboros (being the only brand I could think of) and the guy asked me what kind. I rubbed my pillow/belly and said "lights, of course" and the dude gave them to me without batting an eye. Now, it could be that I was so unbelievable as a pregnant woman that he knew I wasn't really buying those cigarettes but I don't know (I play a pretty convincing white trash pregnant chick). I was a little disappointed. On the way home, I drank a beer and rested it on my belly as I drove......
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