I went to my first bachelorette/bachelor auction last night. I wasn't in it (God forbid) but my beautiful, young friend Jen was there. We all went to give her support. It WAS for a good cause after all. Cystic Fibrosis research. The people there were, however, total tools. Or douches as my friend Kyle noted.
First of all, the pictures that a lot of the people submitted were ridiculous. They looked like they came from the Glamour Shots store at the mall. (I know that because my mother and I once got some Glamour Shots taken....we looked absolutely ridiculous and they made me look like Laura from General Hospital.) Jen used her work photo (she's a star reporter with our local NBC affiliate). Now Jen looks 1000 times better than her photo and Jen was the only person who looked good at this event. A lot of the women there looked like they were used to charging for dates...if you know what I mean. The only problem Jen had with with sweating. She wore this coral dress that made any perspiration look like a freakin' flood or waterfall. (Good thing to keep in mind when you're picking out dress colors, by the way.) The poor thing was nervous as well....who wouldn't be? Joe, Andrea, Kyle (who's also Jen's boyfriend) and I spent a lot of time fanning her pits. It was also pretty hot in there. Pretty glamorous start to the night.
The people were incredibly weird. This one guy had on a suit jacket that looked like something Vanilla Ice might have worn and it had neon green and black graffiti-like marks all over it. To top it off he wore these goggle-like eyeglasses. Now, I don't know whether he actually needed those glasses or whether he thought they were cool. THEY WERE NOT COOL DUDE! I wanted to take a picture with him but actually chickened out asking him for one. I know...I needed more alcohol in me.
Kyle and I saw this really nerdy looking fellow and told Jen that he'd been asking about her and that he'd told us he had a lot of money. Kyle said that he told him to go for it. Hahahaha. Jen thought we were joking but she looked a little unsure.
There was an announcement before the auction and this fellow with cystic fibrosis came up to talk about how the research would help people with his condition. Of course these "do gooders" could not keep quiet long enough to hear the poor fellow and kept drowning him out. Nice philanthropists. No one has ever accused (or will ever accuse) people from Scottsdale of caring too much.
The auction finally began and people stood on the little podium in the middle of the club. It was embarrassing watching the person try to get higher bids. This young ASU (Ariz. State Univ.) guy gets up and a bunch of cougars bid on him. He looked scared. They got into a bidding war and he went for over $5000. Yikes. I gave Jen a concerned look. This older lady went up (49 years old -- too close to my own age for comfort) and she barely got $100. I felt really bad for her. Jen finally went up and the crowd went crazy! She got $1700 and beat all the other ladies that night! Of course, Kyle and I started jinxing other ladies (with our minds) because we wanted Jen to have received the highest bid. That's just a thing you do for the people you care about...as they get auctioned...like cattle.
In the picture from left to right, it's Kyle, Andrea, me and Jen. I don't know where Joe was for that shot....
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