A few years ago, my good friend Dena arranged for a bunch of us Los Angeles girls to go to a Trapeze class. Yes...the high flying kind. Now....Dena is the awesome friend that everyone wishes they knew. She is the total "connector" who knows everyone and can hook you up with the best people and she always arranges the coolest adventures for everyone. For example, she got a team of us together to participate in this thing called the "Go Game" where we ran around Venice, CA following clues from a cell phone and making weird, off-the-cuff home movies (ours had a matrix theme). There was drinking involved, of course, at a turtle racing venue (really...where else?).
I was a little worried about this Trapeze adventure because I really didn't feel like dying that day (now...if you'd asked me the day before....). The school was in an old warehouse near the Hollywood Park racetrack (aka, "The Hood"). Inside the warehouse, there was a huge (several feet thick) mat and the high wire apparatus that you'd expect (ropes and swings and scaffolds to climb up to the swings, etc.). We met the instructor/owner Ray and had to sit down and watch a terrifying video. He told us that we'd be swinging and doing this flip over our head thing to land. Right...that is NEVER going to happen. We then had to sign these releases...oh but this is just a precaution because YOU'RE not going to be paralyzed. Right. (By the way, if there is a chance that something odd is going to happen....I can almost guarantee you that it will happen to me. I can't remember how many times I've heard, "we've never encounte red this situation before" or "that's strange.")
Ray starts us out by having us hang onto a low suspended bar and having us flip over and put our knees on the bar and then swing from the bar by only our knees. Now....I'm well aware that my knees are attached to my body but, in my mind, there's always the chance that they could become detached at this instant. I remember when I first had to slide down a zip wire during my summer at Camp Buckner at West Point. I felt the same way, now I know that my arms can hold my body....but what if I'm just over their capacity at this moment and those arms keep hanging on but my body detaches and falls? These are the thoughts that occur to me...it's tough being me. I flip over and, voila, my knees miraculously stay attached and I swing. Phew.
By the way, shouldn't I be working right now? Yes....but I have no deadlines and my boss is on vacation through next week. Let the games begin!
Back to the story. After we all go through that test, he immediately has us chalk up and climb to the top of the scaffold to swing. So soon? I don't think we're ready.... Nope. Up we go. I nervously chalk up (I mean over chalk up....my hands look like Mickey Mouse's gloves) and wait in line to climb up the scaffolding. When I'm finally there, I learn that the bar is metal with ridges on it (for a better grip...I guess) and that you need to have absolutely no slack between your arms and the bar so that you don't jerk at the bottom of the swing. If you jerk at the bottom of the swing, you will tear up your hands. I mean...the skin will stay on the bar but the rest of your hand will move downward...quickly. Yeeouch. I made sure there was no slack so that I could keep the skin on my hands. I grabbed the bar (you have to lean very far over to get that bar...not pleasant) and removed all slack and jumped. After the initial terror, it was fun. I swung back and forth and realized that it really depends on where your swing is when you're trying to lift your legs up and in the bar (for the knee swing thing). On the second try, I got them in. Yahoo. Then, I learned how to flip over and land on the big mat. Awesome. I'm a pro at this. The next time I went up, Ray was swinging from the other end and he was going to grab our arms as we release from the first bar and then hang from his arms. No way. When I went up, I got my legs in and just missed the hand grab. I was determined to do this. I went up again....but in my excitement forgot the NO SLACK rule. When I reached the bottom of my first downward swing, there was a snap as the skin on both my hands remained on the bar and my hands when south. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! WHERE IS THE HUMANITY? WHY GOD, WHY? Yes...it hurt that much. One of the girls cried when it happened to her. I completely understood her reaction but (being a tough army girl) I kept the tears in. Actually, I'm pretty good with keeping in tears when it comes to physical pain but I'm a blubbering idiot when it comes to emotional pain.....damn emotional pain. This wasn't a blister...blood was streaming from both hands. I painfully washed them and put some antibiotic ointment on and then wrapped both hands in toilet paper (the universal gauze). I, of course, could only watch and cheer the rest of the girls on. I had a lot of fun driving home with only my fingers....
Dena was awesome, by the way, and she didn't tear up her hands at all.
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