Mack Attack!

No....I didn't go to MacDonalds....

Monday night was a rare night for our man.  Veterans of the class told me that it was like he used to be.  If that's true...hmmmmm.  He announced that the class was going to be much much harder that night.  I braced myself.  He started by having us do some bicycle/ab things and proceeded to mountainclimbers (his favorite).  Basically I was either lying down and doing something with my abs or standing up and doing a sort of squat/thrust type deal.  Pretty tough and tedious.  I, however, worked very very hard and I'm proud to say that I did almost the entire class!  I was pretty proud.  At the end of the class we all do 50 mountainclimbers together and count them all out loud.  Well, after the 50 were over, Mack says "Hey ST....what was that?  Did you think you could just do them halfways and get away with it?"  O.K.....I did not do them halfways....I did them fullways.  I did them exactly how I've always done them, I didn't slack off at all.  He went on and on and asked me (for the 5th time) whether I thought I could do them halfways and get away with it.  I just shook my head and said "yes" sarcastically.  He yelled a little more and then made the entire class do another 50 mountainclimbers -- yelling at me the entire time, of course.  I really didn't feel the least bit guilty because I didn't do ANYTHING wrong!!  Afterwards he went into another spiel and asked me again whether I thought I could come to class and only partially perform.  I had had it by then and I said, "I thought I did them right the first time and I just told you that I didn't because that was what you wanted to hear."  Well....a nuclear explosion resulted and I, honestly, don't remember what he said because I just sort of blanked it out and pasted a smile on my face (which I'm sure didn't help the situation or his temper at all).  I mean, if I HAD been slacking, bring it on.. .fair enough.  I was working my butt off though and I know that he knew it.  He was just hazing me.  (Afterwards people told me that it was obviously "just my time" to be singled out.)  That is a bunch of crap.  After class we all have to individually pass by Mack and "dap him up" (or tap our fists to his fists) and, as I came up, I gave a slack "dap" with only one fist.  [Oh yes....I'll show him.]  He grabbed my fist and told me that I need to "change my attitude and start working in his class."  I just turned and walked away.  I seriously considered continuing my walk all the way out the door.  I know a lot of you have advised me to do just that.  I started thinking about how he might really want me to leave (because he doesn't appear to like me very much...a mutual feeling) and that it might tick him off for me to come back.  Also, despite all of the crap, I look pretty awesome.

So...last night was a big night for me.  I was intent on showing up and demonstrating that I wasn't afraid of him.  Well...at the beginning of class he told us that our commitment to healthy eating was like a relationship and we should consider fidelity to healthy eating like fidelity to our partner/spouse.  He came to my sheet and I had eaten 2 cups of frozen unsweetened cherries the night before (largely because the AC wasn't working in my crappy Phoenix apartment and I was feeling sorry for myself).  He asked me "what kind of commitment is that?"  I said, "I'm single Mack."  That got a big laugh out of the class but...of course...Mack was none too pleased and he kept saying "that's not funny" but the laughs had already been cast.  Heh heh.  I knew the workout was going to be ugly.  And it was.  Mack went through the usual pushups and mountainclimbers and then he pulled me out of class with one of the veteran guys.  He m ade me go to the back and do 5 sets of frog leaps with him.  You squat down on the floor and swing your arms and "leap" forward like a frog to end up in the squatting position.  A trip across the floor of the room and back is one set.  These are extremely painful on your quads and your lungs.  I did them but they weren't pretty (frogs aren't pretty anyway, so who cares).  Fortunately he let me go after those sets and I joined the rest of the group.  Then he sent back the guys in the class one at a time.  I was the only woman he sent back...hmmmm...I wonder why....Oh yeah....I was a smart alec before.  After class people were telling me that I need to just not listen to what he says and let him be right.  I don't think I'm genetically capable of that.  Heck, if I could do that I would probably be a partner at a major law firm with a constant migraine and absolutely no sense of humor.  I would also have no friends.

I DO know that I'm crazy for continuing to show up at this guy's training sessions.

Comments

[G R]

You were falsely accused of slacking and then unjustly sentenced to 50 mountainclimbers? Seems to me you were the only one once again to stand up to deceitful and tyrannical government. Just listen and let him be right? What the heck kind of advice is that?! If we'd had that kind of attitude in 1776 we'd still be toasting to his majesty at high tea.

[Destructo]

I agree completely. Very good observation....you're hilarious!