I took a self-defense course this weekend. Actually, Mack gave me a slot in his class (worth $250) as a sort of apology for being so mean. I still think he's a tool though. The class was basically the same stuff I learned at WP but he asked me to the front of the class for a demonstration after he had shown us all this "hammer punch" (which was sort of a backhanded, swinging punch). To demonstrate the power of the punch, Mack was having people punch through and break a 2 x 4 piece of wood. Three ladies went before me and two didn't break the wood with their fists and the third got it on the second try...then I came up...THE TERMINATOR. I just followed his instructions and the wood broke easily on my first try. It wasn't hard and my hand stung a little but it didn't hurt at all. It was good to see those others try because I could see them hesitate right before hitting the wood and sort of anticipate t he impact. [By the way, it looked extremely painful when they failed.] When it was my turn, I barely used my arm and just swung my body through the wood and it broke...no problem. I just took the wood out of my mind and swung through it. Mack gave me the wood after I broke it and it's been driving around with me in my car all weekend. Pretty cool. So....if a 2 x 4 decides to attack me....I'm ready. Listen here 2 x 4, I WILL NOT HESITATE to break you in half. Yeah....you heard me.....not so tough now....
It was 106 degrees in Phoenix yesterday. Pretty hot but surprisingly bearable. It is mandatory to cover your windshield with a sun deflector these days because no one can sit in a car that's had that beating down on it for any length of time. I think it was barely 100 today so it has cooled down. People here are crazy though. I saw a guy running at lunch time today (with no hat on or anything). That seems so dangerous to me because you don't even have a chance to sweat when it's this hot. Your body will just shut down while you're out and about. Apparently it's not hot here yet though.....
I would have gotten in a lot of trouble in that class, mostly because I would have found it amusing to annoy the instructor with quotes from my favorite martial arts movie hero of all time...Rex Kwan Do! (come to think of it, when I read your descriptions of "Mack" I really have been picturing a Rex Kwan Do-type character....) Anyway..enjoy:
"I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwan Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the STRENGTH of a grizzly, the reflexes of a PUMA, and the wisdom of a man."
"At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here?"
"Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!"
Flippin' sweet.....
Posted by: G R | May 19, 2008 at 06:13 PM
What are the "bad boys" that Rex Kwan Do is wearing? I'm so curious now. I picture something fancy and purple for some reason...
Posted by: Destructo | May 20, 2008 at 08:57 AM
I think this will take you to YouTube Rex Kwan Do clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlmIYHUxVA4
Posted by: G R | May 20, 2008 at 04:56 PM
Forget about it!! I totally forgot what that dude's name was. Hahahahahahahaha. I loved that. Starla...hahahahahaha. I personally think that the stars would hurt more than the stripes...but that could just be me.
Bow to your sensei! Yes....that guy has a lot of the same characteristics as Mack. Except Mack is black and 64. The yelling and abuse are the same though.
You gonna eat those tots?
Posted by: Destructo | May 21, 2008 at 05:27 PM
You do realize of course, that now you will almost certainly be faced with an overpowering urge to reply with a wiseass "bow to your sensei" the next time you get singled out in class.
Posted by: G R | May 22, 2008 at 04:42 PM
He was in a disco mood last night and I did "The Hustle" when that came on. He just stopped and looked at me... I just kept on "hustling...?...." A loud "Bow to your Sensei" would have been very appropriate at that time. I probably didn't say it because I was concentrating on the intricate dance steps involved with the hustle but next time for sure!
Posted by: Destructo | May 23, 2008 at 05:22 PM